Beach trips!

Sooo I'm sitting here in Anna Maria Island, FL on beach vacay #2. I'm including pictures on my blog for the first time ever, and I'm feeling technologically challenged, so bear with me...

Artsy pic of Josh at Fernandina Beach

I love me some sand.

Favorite baby EVER.

Me & Joshy

Caden LOVES the beach.

Connor & Camryn at the beach directly behind where we're staying. Not bad.

The beach this afternoon. A little dark and ominous, but

the beach here is so pretty and the water is so clear.

YAY for the beach!

My name is Leslie and I love Big Macs.

Ok people. I have food issues. I've known this for quite a while, and I know I talk about it a lot and never REALLY do anything about it...but I'm going to talk about it some more right now, if you don't mind.

I like to watch shows like Biggest Loser and Losing it with Jillian...and every week after I watch them, Jillian has got me CONVINCED that I have the power to change my ways and take control of my eating. After last night's episode, I felt so empowered and felt so confident that I had control, because after all, it's food. And the foods that I eat are POISON!! (Jillian Michaels, 2010). Fast forward to, oh i don't know, 20 minutes later, and I'm eating two chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk. Then this morning I had a frosted pop tart for breakfast.

This is my problem (one of the many): I daydream of losing weight and being skinny. A lot. It's fine to want to lose weight and be healthier, but I'm pretty sure I place way too much value on being skinnier, because I seriously think that I'd finally be happy with myself if I weighed 25 pounds less. And then I don't actually stick with eating healthy (i do ok with exercising most of the time), so nothing ever changes, so I just end up thinking about it more and more.

This is the other part of that problem: I think about how I'm determined to lose weight and be healthy at two main times of the day: after I've eaten a huge dinner of unhealthy food or RIGHT after working out really hard. But any other time of the day, I'm just thinking about how I NEED to go to Sonic Happy Hour... it's just not good.

I'm so tired of talking about losing weight and being healthier. So then sometimes, I decide it's stupid to worry about it so much and I'm going to stop thinking about it and just eat whatever I want and not care, like my skinny friends do. But I DO care. So then after a couple days of pretending like I don't, I just feel even worse.

When other people talk about problems or addictions that they have, it seems so obvious that they should stop talking about it and just DO it. But I have failed every time I've really tried. I feel like I have no self control when it comes to food. And I know it's annoying and it shouldn't be so hard, but I just don't do it. And I don't want to keep saying I'm going to do better because I know I won't because I never have before.

I know if Jillian was here right now, she'd be talking to me in her intense, low voice with her eyes squinting and her hand on my shoulder, asking me to figure out WHY I feel the need to eat junk and not change...and I've been trying to figure it out, and I honestly think it's that a) i'm afraid of failing again and b) Unhealthy food tastes soooo good!!! Seriously. That's what I think.

So yeah. There you have it. That was basically just a lot of rambling that probably didn't make sense. Let me know what you think!

A Few Important Thoughts

Can we talk about how much I love Kent on So You Think You Can Dance?? It started out with me thinking he was funny, but now I think I'm just straight up in love with him.

Can we also talk about how in my head I can do most of the dances that they do on SYTYCD? I'm really good too. Ok, ok, I'll audition for next season. You talked me into it.

5 Days til Josh and I go to Schlitterbahn with Justin & Kacy Bunte!!! I can't wait. I so love waterparks. They're so much better than Six Flags, where you leave overheated and exhausted with a horrible headache. The only downside to waterparks is having to look at extremely large girls who think they can pull of a string bikini, and having to watch teenage couples who are waaay too excited to be in their bathing suits together, and make out/hold each other in line two feet from you. Oh, and of course, there seems to be bacne everywhere you look. But if you can get through all that, then waterparks are the BEST.

Hypochondriasis Kills

I just took an online quiz entitled "Are you a Hypochondriac?" Turns out I am. As if we didn't already know that. Well I'm 48% hypochondriac, anyways. That's not too bad. But as I was taking the quiz, I laughed because some of them were all too true for me.

"Do you worry you have AIDS even though there is a low risk of you getting it?" ....Why, yes. How did you know?

"When you're in pain, do you think you have tumors or cancer?" ...All the time.

"When there is a strange new virus making the news, are you preoccupied with getting it?" ...Yes. Anthrax, smallpox, SARS, you name it. (2001-2002 was rough)

This paranoia resulted in a very interesting weekend for me.

Last Wednesday: My jaw started hurting. It was very tense, and felt like I couldn't relax it no matter what I did. The tension went up into my ears and just above my ears. It continued for several days into the weekend. I was concerned, but wouldn't allow myself to google it. As we all know by now, that never goes well.

Thursday night: I googled it. I started crying. The diagnosis? Tetanus. I stepped on a pen a couple weeks ago that got lodged in my foot and bled a lot. No tetanus shot-->Open wound-->Jaw pain-->Tetanus-->Death. This was my thought process. I called Carol Hogan crying, and with her assurance, I went to bed feeling a lot better about the situation.

Friday: I told my mom about the pain in my jaw, and my previous suspicions of it being tetanus. I wasn't planning on going to the doctor because at this point, I figured I could wait it out and see if the pain went away. Plus, I had a lot to do this weekend, including Megan Ehrhardt's wedding rehearsal and wedding, so I didn't have time. My mom told me I should make time to go in to the doctor that day before it had a chance to get any worse.

::Intermission:: Thanks for reading this. I feel like it's getting long. Feel free to take a bathroom break, grab a cold drink, or stretch. I'm not close to being done.

Friday afternoon: I went to a Care Now clinic, which I hoped would be the fastest option. 2 hours later, I left Care Now $45 poorer and wishing I could get those 2 hours of my life back. (Especially since I could be dying later that day!!!!!!!!) The doctor there told me it wasn't an ear infection, my throat looked good, it didn't seem like TMJ, etc. When I presented to her the idea of tetanus, she said, "Hmmm...I'm trying to think of what I know about tetanus...I had a horse that had that once." .....REALLY???

So I left there still feeling like crap. I seriously considered protesting paying.

Friday night: I went to Megan's rehearsal dinner. Lots of talking, laughing, and eating--lots of jaw usage, basically. By the end of the night, my jaw felt even worse. But Rachel and Carol were spending the night with me, and we were having fun, so I wasn't thinking about it too much.

Late Friday night: My mom called me to ask how my jaw was doing. When I told her it was worse, she told me I needed to get in to another doctor that can tell me more about it and can be more helpful. I told her I'd try to get in to see someone on Monday or Tuesday.

Then I called Josh's mom. When I talked to her, she told me that my worrying about it was probably what was making the pain worse, and to just relax and not use it as much as possible. She told me she was pretty positive it wasn't tetanus, and to not worry so much about it. I got off the phone with her feeling more calm and more like I was going to be alright.

Later Friday night: My mom calls back. "Leslie, I'm sorry but I was looking up stuff online about it (sound familiar?), and this is really serious. I think you need to go to the hospital either tonight or tomorrow. Do you want to go somewhere there in Allen, or come back home for a few days?" Well, you know I scare myself enough, I don't need other people suggesting to me that I might be dying. So then I freaked out again, and at the same time I was mad at my mom for being that way (exactly like me).

SO. My plan was to go in Saturday after the wedding to the hospital and have them check it out, but Carol and Rachel, being the ridiculously good friends that they are, offered to go with me Friday night to the hospital at midnight.

Around 2am, the doctor finally came in. He asked what the problem was, I told him, and he said, "Mmhmm. Sooo, you looked it up online?" We all laughed. (At this point, Josh had come up there too. My friends and boyfriend are way too good to me/for me. Knowing that this whole thing was ridiculous but still coming up there to keep me company in the middle of the night.)

He told me everything he knew about tetanus, which was a lot, and then told me there's not really a test for tetanus, but he was almost positive I didn't have it, because the symptoms would be a lot more severe. I got the shot though, and he gave me some antibiotics to treat it as though it was tetanus even though it probably wasn't.

So I asked him what was causing the pain in my jaw, and he said "Well, the pain in your jaw is basically what we call...jaw pain." That was my favorite line from the night.

He said I might need to see a dentist about it, but as far as he could tell, there wasn't anything in particular causing the tension.

We got home at 4am, and had to get up at 8 to get to the church for Megan's wedding.

So that's pretty much my story. Ridiculous, I know. My jaw is still hurting, (less than before though), but I'm taking Advil a lot and it seems to help some. I made an appointment at the dentist, but they can't see me until August 2.

Hopefully the pain goes away soon, and it's not anything related to impacted wisdom teeth or the need for a root canal. I better go google that....

Classy teacher clothes, here I come...

I got the job at Banana Republic! Yay. Now, I just hope I'm good at it. Surely I will be. Right?? I mean, I just have to sell clothes. It's not like I could put anyone's life or well-being in danger. So that's good, I guess.

My summer class started yesterday. It's going to be on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5-9pm. Unfortunately, I sit by one of the older people that hasn't taken classes in a long time and freaks out about everything. Everything. And then there are the people that think they already know everything and think they are our teacher. And then there are people that ask questions that make me wonder why they think they are competent to teach anybody. And then there are the nice, smart people that will be great teachers. Thankfully, there are at least a few of those!

I ran with my new friend Ashlee (she's in our life group at church) today. I haven't run in a long time, and I went 2 miles without stopping! Good for me. Of course, I need to say a few words of thanks to Beyonce and Chris Brown for getting me through it. I couldn't have done it without them. Seriously, I couldn't.

I am LOVING our life group on Thursday nights. It's all couples in their 20s...most of them are married. They are so fun. In the past, I've definitely had times where I dread going to church or small groups because they are socially uncomfortable. But I'm so excited to go to church on Sundays now, and happy to hang out with people my age. And the girls make me feel like I can actually talk to them about what's going on in my life, which I'm thankful for. I'm so happy to have made friends from our church. Thanks, God!

So I applied at Banana Republic and had an interview. I think it actually went pretty well...which is saying a lot, because usually I leave interviews replaying every awkward moment in my head for days. Everything about this interview was pretty good, minus the part where I had to shake the manager's hand and my hands were sweaty. I try to embrace my sweatiness and act like it's just one of those cute little quirks that people have...but who are we kidding, IT'S DISGUSTING!!!!! I have GOT to seriously look into getting surgery to correct it!

I'm supposed to have already heard back from them about if I got the job or not, but no word yet.

I spent the weekend in Bedford with the one and only Rachel Foster. I find her extremely hilarious. I haven't laughed so hard in quite a while.

I'm starting summer school this Wednesday...not looking forward to having 4 hour classes two nights a week. I figured out that because Josh works so much and I'm starting classes, I'm going to see him one night a week. This week, the last time I saw him was Friday, and I won't see him at all til Thursday. Lame....

Which brings me to my next point. In my loneliness, I have been eating ungodly amounts of calories and only really exercising 1-2 days per week. I feel like I'm "letting myself go", if you will. And that is gross/not okay! I'm 23 years old! GET YOURSELF TOGETHER, LESLIE.

So, I think I'm going to make a small goal to go walking 4 or 5 days a week. I figure if I start there, I can't fail, and then I will already be outside, with my running shoes on, and there will at least be a chance that running will happen. When I'm sitting inside drinking a Dr. Pepper from Sonic and watching tv...I don't have a chance!!

I need to make friends.

I think I am having the same talk with myself that I had to have January of my freshman year of college. It was after an entire semester of crying in my dorm room about how horrible college was and how I was socially incapable of making friends. (You remember, Kacy).

By the end of that semester, I wanted to transfer...to UT. So glad I didn't. I just thought I wanted to because all our friends that went to UT seemed to love it and be having a great time. Soooo glad I didn't.

So that December, I decided if I expected to have friends, I had to attempt to make friends. I actually tried to talk to people in my classes for once. I made a couple friends that way, but thankfully, God helped me out a lot on that one by giving me an amaaaazing bunch of friends that semester who are still some of my best friends today.

Anyway, here I am today, feeling pretty much like I did freshman year of college. I feel like I rarely see Josh anymore, because he has been working a lot (which is great that he's working, don't get me wrong.) and I have literally no one my age to hang out with here in Allen. I wish I lived closer to Dallas so it wouldn't be a 40 minute drive to see my friends. The only friends I do have my age here are Todd and Justin, who are really Josh's friends and it'd be super weird if I called them to hang out on any given night. Besides that, my besties in Allen are Josh's family (who I really do love) and the 1 yr old babies that I babysit, Caden and Ella...exceptional babies, I have to say, but not BFF material.

The only trouble this time around in the friend-making department is that I'm not in a town that has 40,000 college students in a 15 mile radius. Making new friends in the real world is hard!!!

So that's where I'm at right now. Some days I definitely feel better than others. I'm hoping to get a job at Banana Republic that I applied for today at Stonebriar Mall in Frisco, so maybe I can make some friends my age there and make money (and of course, get a 50% discount on all Banana Republic, Gap, and Old Navy clothes!).

For tonight though, I think I'm just going to sulk, eat things that I shouldn't, and just to go all out, watch shows like Kendra and True Life: I Have Two Moms.

free time!!

First off, I'd like to thank Mr. Hans for guest blogging. I appreciate him taking the time out to post. I think it really boosted the ratings. It's true, I've been thinking about not blogging anymore, because I feel like I never have anything really interesting to say. But, here I am doing it because I have nothing else to do.

School is over, at least for the next few weeks before I start summer school June 9. It is sooo nice to not have to worry about what all I have to get done. This entire semester I've had that one class (you know, the one I waited until the last minute to finish most of the assignments) looming over my head like a dark cloud (impressive simile, i know). I kept getting further and further behind, and I just was constantly stressed about it. I seriously considered dropping the class, but when I found out that would be $700 down the drain, I decided that Rog and Lyna wouldn't be too happy if I did that. Turns out I made an A in the class. Whew. Seriously, the low standard of A&M Commerce is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

So, with no school, I feel like I have tons of free time now. It's been good... I've been reading this book that you have to read, it's called A Hole in our Gospel by Richard Stearns. It's about how living out the whole gospel means more than going to church, staying away from the worst sins, and having a private relationship with God. It's really challenging, and he talks about how Jesus talks SO much throughout the Bible about giving to the poor, feeding the hungry, and caring for those in need. It just seems to be too uncomfortable for Christians to have to do that, so we try not to think about it and go about our business and stay in our little bubbles of friends and family. We tell ourselves that there's nothing wrong with that. But God expects a lot more. Basically, if our faith is not seen in the ways that we are tangibly giving to, loving, and caring for people, then it is meaningless. It's super convicting to me, and has really made me think a lot about how I cling to comfort and ease in life. And when I don't have it in my life, I freak out and get all sad. (i.e. this year has been a hard transition and I get sad because I don't have friends to hang out with all the time) There are so many things that can become more important to us than being completely obedient to God...having nice clothes and nice things, having money, being skinny, being busy, friendships and relationships...all of the above for me. I can't tell you how many times I have literally thought, "If I could just buy all new clothes, I would feel so much better about myself" (Ridiculous). Or "If I lost 20 pounds, I would be happy!"... (Totally pathetic). We have to give up everything that we are holding on to so that we can really be open to God's will and fully love and obey Him.

Anyway, you have to read the book, sorry I was on a roll and almost rewrote the whole thing for you to read right here...woopsy...

So yeah, I am enjoying the free time and trying to not totally waste it...this can easily be done by watching countless episodes of Family Feud, The Bonnie Hunt Show, etc...beware of afternoon television.

Speaking of television, I'm going to have even more free time when LOST is over. I'm too excited about the finale. It's going to be so good! Even better, I get to watch it with Rachel Foster and Carol Hogan.

I'm bad at conclusions, so...BYE!

Hello world.

Josh here, guest blogging for Ms. Bryant. Thanks for having me first off. There is no place I'd rather be in cyberspace than right here with whoever is reading this.

So, did you hear about the Energizer Bunny? I guess he was arrested and charged with battery.

I got a job in a Blanket Factory, but it folded.

And finally practice safe eating, always use condiments.

Ok, the monologue is over. If you're still here thanks. Well I guess Leslie said in her last blog that I was working at an upscale movie theater. I'm afraid she wasn't lying. I do work at a movie theater. Its interesting to say the least. I'm trying to think of a funny story about work, but I can't get past the fact that I'm 23, work at a movie theater and live at home. So lets just laugh (or cry) about that.

I'm trying to get a teaching job for next year. I'd like to teach middle school math. I'm not having a whole lot of luck right now. Here's the deal, I had some terrible teachers growing up. So it can get a little frustrating looking for a job. If I took the high school certification test, I could probably get a job easier, but let's be honest, high schoolers are annoying. I kind of forgot about how annoying they are, but then I started working at a movie theater. Then I remembered.

So, I've enjoyed Lost this season a lot. Until last week, I thought that episode was lame. But I was talking to Leslie about it and I said something like "this season has been a lot about Jack's redemption". If you watch Lost, you probably agree, if you don't watch Lost, you probably don't care. Anyways, Leslie has been making fun of me nonstop for it. So I'm just trying to get people on my side by telling you this.

Leslie is thinking about not blogging anymore. So, I'm starting a movement to keep her blogging. Join me and lets keep Leslie online!!!

Thats all I got. Stay Sweet.

My exciting life.

Several important updates for you guys:

1. I drank a Dr. Pepper and this last week has been out of control with the Dr. Peppers. It's shameful. It goes against everything that I have been working towards for the last month.

2. I went to Carrie Burkett's wedding a couple weeks ago and it was sooo great! I got to see some good friends, like Lacey, Drew, Rebecca, Ryan Luna, etc...I'm so excited for Carrie and Andy. The wedding was really sweet.

3. Josh is now a workaholic. He got a job at an upscale movie theater/restaurant, Gold Class Cinema (where movies alone cost $29. SICK.) and then the food is all fancy and stuff. Anyway, the last couple weeks, he has been working like 11-12 hour shifts. Sometimes he doesn't get home until 1:30am! So I have barely seen him at all this week! A hard worker, that Josh Hans is.

4. I'm [probably] going to have a job this summer babysitting a 14 yr old girl who has reactive attachment disorder and is bipolar. Should be interesting. I'm meeting her this Saturday.

5. LOST last night was devastating. People died, and I cried. That's what happened.

6. Five people I know got engaged this weekend (including my roommate). That's crazy.

7. Please leave me a comment. I gave you 6 options to comment on! And yes, I am begging. I'm not above it.

k, BYE!

My body hurts.

The "eating plan" that I told you about is officially over...overall, we did really good following the rules. We are still trying to eat a lot better, and drink a lot less sugary drinks, but we aren't being quite as strict on the rules. Josh has been doing REALLY good, and he's been working out 5 days a week for the last month. He's lost 11 pounds! We won't talk about how much I lost, because it's not impressive at all. Anyway, I haven't been working out at all because I convince myself every day that I don't have time to...but these are lies!!! So on Monday, I started running again. Every muscle in my legs hurts...it really hurts to walk. I'm sooo out of shape. But if I'm going to the beach at the end of the summer, I better get it together so I can look good in my modest full-coverage tankini!

Can we talk about how much I hate jeans? I mean, I guess they're my top choice of what to wear (besides sweatpants or pajama pants, but I'm told I can't wear those in public) but I have the hardest time finding jeans that don't stretch out or shrink, or aren't too short or too long. But last week, something amazing happened. I went to Gap and got a pair of jeans that are comfortable, that fit, and that are long enough! I present to you 1969 Curvy Jeans:

http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=48598&vid=1&pid=673949&scid=673949002

If you're wondering, yes, that IS a picture of my body wearing the jeans.

New Friends!!!!

So Josh and I went to a small group tonight in Frisco through our new church, Bent Tree Bible Fellowship. I was really nervous to go, because let's be honest, these things can be super awkward. It's a group of about 14 people (6 married couples and 2 dating couples) that are all in their twenties. They were SO funny and great. I was such a dork because I laughed at just about everything this one girl said...she reminded me of a cross between Rachel Foster and Jenny Davis--so you know she's awesome.

I'm excited too because they are really genuine and very open and honest with each other when we split up to share prayer requests. I just feel like they get me and they understand where I'm at in life...and also, I feel like they could teach me a lot because they've been there.

So thankful for answered prayers.

On Tuesday night, I got a text message from a number I didn't recognize that said "Hay. LIVE LAUGH LEARN" .... I immediately laughed and thought it was Laura maybe texting from someone else's phone or something. Then right after that, I got a call from that number, and it was Montay, the girl I mentored a few years ago in College Station!

It was so crazy because I've been thinking about her a lot lately. I have been feeling really sad and guilty because I had this perfect opportunity through mentoring to talk about Jesus with her, and I didn't. I mean, I think I was a good role model and I think she liked me pretty well, but I totally blew that opportunity. So I've just been thinking about that a lot lately and how I don't want to be like that in my life. It's not enough to just be a sweet person that isn't willing to tell other people about Christ because it might be uncomfortable.

So then she calls me--it was really good to catch up with her, and I told her next time I'm in College Station, we should get together.. So now I'm praying that God would show me what I need to do and how I can talk to her...but more than that, I'm praying that she comes to know Christ, whether that involves me or not.

I'm title-less

I now have 5 jobs.

1. Subbing on Wednesdays and Thursdays
2. Babysitting for the Dempsey family on Mondays and Tuesdays
3. Working at church preschool 15 hours a week
4. Working with Laura
5. Babysitting every other Friday for another family

Plus, I've been getting quite a few other babysitting jobs here and there lately. Sooo...I'm practically a millionaire. And did I mention I'm getting 8 bucks back on my taxes? I know, you're jealous, I get it.

It's day 13 of our 30-day eating plan, and I'm still going strong! I don't think I've violated any of the rules at all. Who knew I had so much willpower? I sure didn't.

Josh and I have officially found a church that we want to join! It's Bent Tree Bible Fellowship in Carrollton...it's about a 20 minute drive. It's a pretty big church, but I feel like they are so genuine and the people we've met so far have been really nice. The pastor's sermons are all straight from the Bible and we really trust him and think he has a lot of wisdom...so, that's exciting. I'm excited to meet new people and get involved.

In other news, I'm officially adding a person to my "Celebrities I Would Marry" list: Andy Samberg. How was he not on there before?? And yes, I've told Josh, and he totally understands. By the way, the other celebrities I would marry would be Chris Martin (duh), John Krasinski, and Conan O'Brien.

k, BYE!

new habits, I hope...

Well, I've finally done it. I didn't think it was possible, not even for a day....but I have been junk-food free for a whole week and two days now! Josh and I both have. We have a new 30 day eating plan that consists of no sweets (no cookies, ice cream, cake, brownies, donuts, anything like that), nothing to drink except water and skim milk (chocolate milk not allowed), no french fries, no mashed potatoes, and the only restaurants we can eat at are Subway, grilled chicken from Chickfila, or healthy options from Jason's Deli (which if you were wondering, does not include the endless supply of frozen yogurt that I love so much)...the diet includes other things too, but those are the big ones.

It's really a hard plan to follow. I have dreams at night about drinking Dr. Pepper, and I honestly feel like I can taste it in my dreams. It's been 4 months since my last soda and I still want it all the time!

So the point of this whole diet is not to lose a certain amount of weight, although that'd be nice, but to prove to ourselves that we can actually say no to unhealthy, delicious, tempting treats that we usually give in to without a second thought. Hopefully, even though after 30 days we won't be as strict, I will have more healthy habits and I won't eat junk food to make myself feel happy. Yep. I eat junk food to make myself feel happy. I said it.

We ARE weighing ourselves every Sunday night, though, and I did lose 2.2 pounds this week! I don't hate it!

Dreaming of this summer...

I have been so stressed out this week.

Monday- I subbed all day, went to my class for 3 hours, got home at 8pm

Tuesday-Subbed for 2nd grade, went to hang out with Laura until 9pm

Wednesday-Subbed for 3rd grade in the morning, 2nd grade in the afternoon, did homework that was due at 5pm, went to work at the church preschool til 8:30pm

Thursday-Observed in PPCD in the morning, subbed for 2nd grade in the afternoon, did homework until 10:30pm

Friday-Worked at the church preschool all morning til noon, then from 5:45 to 10pm

Today I'm working on a project and trying to get caught up on my online class, and then I'm babysitting tonight. I am soooo behind in this online class. I thought about dropping it, but I couldn't do it and lose all the money I paid for it! So I have a month and a half to do 15 essay assignments and take a midterm and final. I seriously don't know if I can do it. The main problem is that you have to read 60 page chapters before you can do each 4 page assignment, and I am the slowest reader everrr.

So yeah. I'm a little panicky. BUT I got some really good news yesterday!

1. I'm going to start working for a family and watching their 1 year old PERFECT baby two days a week....and they're paying me $200 a week! (That's more than I made watching my sister's three children for 5 days...just saying) Also, that means two less days of subbing every week, which is fine by me.

2. This family and another family with a few kids rent a beach house in Gulf Shores, Alabama every August for a week, and want a babysitter to go with them! YES PLEASE.

3. After I found out that bit of exciting news, Josh told me that his family rented a beach house at Fernandina Beach in Florida in July, and I get to go with them!!!!

So, I'm REAL excited about the end of this summer..now, I just have to survive the next 2 months so I can enjoy the beach....

Goodbye, Dizziness. Hello, Flu.

Well thankfully the dizziness went away the day after I went to the doctor! Then yesterday I was subbing and as the day went on I felt sicker and sicker. We're talking achy muscles, headache, and fever and chills. I went to my Monday night class and shivered the entire way through it, then came home, took a bath, and went to bed at 9.

Today, I was supposed to sub for PPCD. I always get sick right when I'm supposed to sub for PPCD! I have seriously canceled on them 3 times because I've been sick, and I did NOT want to make it a 4th time...so I just went. I only had to be there until 11am, so I just loaded up on Tylenol and went for it. Not the smartest idea, I know, but I couldn't bring myself to cancel on her at the last minute again.

I just went back and read some of my posts from August and September...remember that time I was going to train for another half-marathon? Woopsy....

Also, remember that time I thought I was going to have a booming social life when I moved to Allen? That didn't work out so well either...

I'm excited for spring break! I get to see Rachel and Carol, get to go camping with Kacy, Justin, Kim, and Andrew, and I get to see my old friends Fergie, Will.I.Am, Apl.de.Ap, and Taboo. AKA I'm going to a Black Eyed Peas concert (a big thanks to Donna Hans for getting Josh two tickets for his birthday). P.S. I've never known the other two guys' names before, and I think we can all agree that they are ridiculous.

Look forward to a guest-blog coming up in the near future!

Doctor's Visit

So in the last 24 hours, it has been quite ridiculous how my thoughts about my dizziness have escalated from "This is weird" to "This may be my last meal.." and "I might die in my sleep tonight"....My paranoia is really a sad and serious problem! I am SO not allowing myself to look at WebMD ever again.

I made an appointment to see a doctor today, even though I was hesitant to spend the money ($25 is a lot of money to me, sad I know) but let me tell you, it was worth it for the peace of mind.

After I told the doctor my symptoms, he asked me if I had read anything on the internet about what it might be. I said yes, and he asked me what I read...and I said "Well...internal bleeding of the brain?" And he laughed and said "You're not that lucky!" He said he's seen thousands of patients that have dizziness, which is caused by a virus in the inner or middle ear (way to go, Kacy!) and it will just run its course. He said he's only seen 3 patients that have had brain stem problems and their symptoms are a lot worse than the ones I've been having. So anyway, I might continue to be dizzy for up to another couple weeks, and I just have to wait it out.

The doctor must have not had any other patients today, because he ended up giving me his medical advice on any other medical topic you could think of. We talked about:

1. When to start screening for colon cancer

2. The importance of breast self-exams

3. What constitutes a heavy menstrual cycle

4. How to tell whether a mole is benign, dysplastic, or melanoma

5. The color of the whites of my eyes

6. Changes in bowel movements

7. When to regularly see a gynocologist

8. Signs of anemia

I'd say we pretty much covered all the bases. I feel very close to him now.

Sickness.

Well I started feeling kind of dizzy yesterday around 6pm. I felt like my head was leaning to the right..so I sat down and watched some tv and as long as I didn't move, I was fine. At 8:30 we drove in to Dallas to watch Lost at Jenny Davis's parents house, and I felt more and more dizzy as the night went on. But I laid down on the couch while I watched Lost, and that made me feel better.

Whenever I got up, I felt like I could barely walk straight at all. Then I proceeded to the bathroom and threw up a lot and had to have three people help me make it out to the car--not my proudest moment... Then when I sat down in the car, I threw up again in a bag that Jenny's mom had given to me...I feel very close to Jenny and her mom now...then we drove home and right when I got home I threw up again! Then I slept for 12 hours. Now I'm in bed and I STILL feel super dizzy but I don't feel nauseous. This dizziness is freaking me out. I've never had it before. I can't even walk to the bathroom without feeling like I'm going to fall down.

Has anyone else ever had that happen? I need you to comfort me, because if you know me, you know I am assuming the worst here! I took Bonine (like Dramamine) which is supposed to help reduce dizziness caused from motion sickness...so I don't really know why I took it, because I'm laying motionless in my bed..but maybe it'll help?

First off, can we just talk about what a terrible procrastinator I am? I have two assignments due at 5pm today and I haven't started them...yet I choose to update my blog right now...I've waited til the absolute last minute to do all my assignments this semester. It's shameful.

Secondly, I'm subbing for the first time in high school tomorrow. I'm scared! But I needed to work tomorrow so I'm just going to suck it up and be a man!

I observed a 3-6 grade resource classroom this morning and I really liked it. I can see myself teaching that. But sometimes I can see myself teaching PPCD too. So I just don't know.

In other news, Joshy is going to get certified to teach. It's official. He wants to teach middle school or high school math, and he jokes that his passion is coaching girls volleyball or cheerleading...at least I hope it's a joke...

What a week!

I figured out that I worked about 58 hours this week! I know some of you (Jessica, Kacy) are thinking "Oh get over yourself, I work at least that much every week." Or at least, you should be thinking that. But this old girl (me) is not used to working that much! I worked Sunday at the church, Tuesday for 12 hours and Wednesday for 12 hours watching Laura, Wednesday night at the church, Thursday all day and Friday all day babysitting, and Friday night at the church. I have to say, I'm rather excited about getting paid.

Funny Moments from the week:

1. Watching Celtic Woman on Youtube with Laura for about an hour.

2. Laura telling me she wishes one day I'd be as beautiful as Serena Williams.

3. When I told Laura we were going to meet Josh for lunch on Wednesday, her giving me a huge hug and saying "You're the best friend in the whole wide world! He is SUCH A HOTTIE!"

4. Parker, 3 year old boy I babysat on Thurs-Fri, singing "I like 'em big. I like 'em chunky" from Madagascar.

5. Austin, 7 years old, telling me I should enter a woman's bodybuilding competition (his mom does them).

6. When I told Austin and Parker that I had a boyfriend, Austin yelling "You've got to be kidding me! I can't believe you have fallen in love with him! Do you kiss each other??"

Not so funny moment from the week:

Laura and I made breakfast one morning..I made eggs and two pieces of toast. I left the room for a second, and came back to find Laura had set up a tv tray for me and gotten me juice and silverware (so nice of her!). I had eaten my eggs and one piece of toast. Laura then asked for a wet paper towel. "Why do you need one?" I asked. She replied, "Because I dropped a piece of toast on my foot earlier and the jelly got my foot all sticky." I threw the remaining piece of toast in the trash. I just sooo pray that I ate the non-foot piece of toast. I gag every time I think about it.

Heard about the job....

So I talked to Laura's mom about working for their family, and she said it sounds great and I just need to turn in my application and do some training hours and then I'll be all set to start working for them! The only thing is, it's not full-time like I was hoping. It's just like 40 hours a MONTH. But it'll still be great experience, and the mom is a special ed teacher who knows tons of people and would be a great resource. Plus, she said she knows other families who may need me to work for them doing the same thing. So I'm excited!

So I'm going to keep subbing...and I changed my availability so that I could start subbing in middle school. We'll see how that goes...

Josh had a job interview in College Station this week. I'm prayinggg that he gets the job. If he does, I will probably live with Josh's parents here and then move down to CS this summer. I thought I had to do my student teaching in the Dallas area, but I called the program and found out I could do it somewhere else! I know it might be hard to get a placement in College Station because of how many A&M students have to do their student teaching in that area...but I feel like it could work out. I know I shouldn't already be thinking about all that, but ya know...I am.

Praying for a job!

So I have been really discouraged lately about not having a steady job, not hearing back about several interviews, and trying to figure out which restaurants I'll apply to next. I don't really want to work at a restaurant, but if that's what I have to do to make some money, then I will do it.

My mom called me last night about a possible job that sounds amazing and perfect for me. Ok, so Josh's best friend Todd's girlfriend, Jenny, has a sister that is 24 and has special needs. Their family, who lives like 20 minutes away in Richardson, is looking for someone to watch her and hang out with her for like 6-10 hours a day. My mom heard about this job because Jenny's aunt is Susan Cutrell from Sulphur Springs.

Anyway, I have to fill out the application and paperwork because they have to hire someone through a company. So I am just praying that this works out because if they hire me, I could start right away and I could do that probably until I have to student teach next fall. And I really think it'd be perfect for me and I'd love doing that way more than being a waitress.

So if you read this, I would really love for you to pray that this works out. I feel like this is already a huge answer to prayer!

Don't wear shorts when it's cold outside.

Helloooooo!

I don't know how to start this off. It's been too long. So let's just dive right in.

I finished my first semester of classes with a 4.0 wooohooo! I love the low expectations of A&M Commerce grad school. It's a beautiful thing. I'm taking three more classes this semester, two of which will be online, so I only have to make the trip to Mesquite every Monday night.

I've applied for a bunch of teacher's aide positions and random restaurant/coffee shop jobs in the last month or so. I have an interview at a school on Monday, and I had an interview with Starbucks last week, where I discovered that my college degree was working against me and they didn't want to invest in me only to be hurt when I leave for a better job. Oh well!

So, here I am again, desperate to do some subbing, but since it's just the first week back to school, I haven't found any work yet! It's just ridiculous how much free time I have on my hands. I've been slumping back into a lifestyle of watching multiple episodes of Family Feud at a time...which you know is never good...but at the same time, it's SoOoOo good. I DO, however, have some standards for myself, which is not watching The Bonnie Hunt show, The Tyra Banks show, or Maury anymore. When I've watched these shows in the past, I've never been happy I watched them afterwards.

I have been doing super awesome about working out, I have to say. Eating well, ehh, not so much. I'm doing better, but I still have a ways to go before I could proudly stand before Jillian Michaels. I've gone to at least one class per day at the gym regularly for at least the last month. One day, I WILL surpass the 50 year old women that teach my class in athleticism and stamina.

So after I went to the gym today, I figured I would go ahead and go straight on to Wal-mart to get a few groceries. I was wearing knee-length shorts, a t-shirt, and a hoodie (Cute, I know!) Well, as we all know, it's effing cold outside these days. But I didn't mind braving the cold just to run into the grocery store and run out to my car. So I'm in the produce aisle of the grocery store, and an older black woman approaches me with a scowl on her face and angrily says to me, "Child, I can not BELIEVE you are out here in this freezing cold weather wearing that. You have got to be out of your mind. What is WRONG with you??" I laughed nervously, because I had no idea how to respond, and she goes "No I'm serious, what is wrong with you??" And then she just stares at me waiting for me to tell her what was wrong with me! Ahhhhh! I was scared of her. If you know me, you KNOW that I have the utmost respect for strong-willed black women, and wish I WAS a strong-willed black woman, and here I was being scolded in Wal-mart by one. Dang it! She said a few other things and I just continued to awkwardly smile and waited for her to finish. The last thing she said was "You've got to be kidding me! Take care of yourself, sugar. You have GOT to take care of yourself..." as she shook her head and walked away. I'm never wearing shorts again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!