Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Hypochondriasis Kills

I just took an online quiz entitled "Are you a Hypochondriac?" Turns out I am. As if we didn't already know that. Well I'm 48% hypochondriac, anyways. That's not too bad. But as I was taking the quiz, I laughed because some of them were all too true for me.

"Do you worry you have AIDS even though there is a low risk of you getting it?" ....Why, yes. How did you know?

"When you're in pain, do you think you have tumors or cancer?" ...All the time.

"When there is a strange new virus making the news, are you preoccupied with getting it?" ...Yes. Anthrax, smallpox, SARS, you name it. (2001-2002 was rough)

This paranoia resulted in a very interesting weekend for me.

Last Wednesday: My jaw started hurting. It was very tense, and felt like I couldn't relax it no matter what I did. The tension went up into my ears and just above my ears. It continued for several days into the weekend. I was concerned, but wouldn't allow myself to google it. As we all know by now, that never goes well.

Thursday night: I googled it. I started crying. The diagnosis? Tetanus. I stepped on a pen a couple weeks ago that got lodged in my foot and bled a lot. No tetanus shot-->Open wound-->Jaw pain-->Tetanus-->Death. This was my thought process. I called Carol Hogan crying, and with her assurance, I went to bed feeling a lot better about the situation.

Friday: I told my mom about the pain in my jaw, and my previous suspicions of it being tetanus. I wasn't planning on going to the doctor because at this point, I figured I could wait it out and see if the pain went away. Plus, I had a lot to do this weekend, including Megan Ehrhardt's wedding rehearsal and wedding, so I didn't have time. My mom told me I should make time to go in to the doctor that day before it had a chance to get any worse.

::Intermission:: Thanks for reading this. I feel like it's getting long. Feel free to take a bathroom break, grab a cold drink, or stretch. I'm not close to being done.

Friday afternoon: I went to a Care Now clinic, which I hoped would be the fastest option. 2 hours later, I left Care Now $45 poorer and wishing I could get those 2 hours of my life back. (Especially since I could be dying later that day!!!!!!!!) The doctor there told me it wasn't an ear infection, my throat looked good, it didn't seem like TMJ, etc. When I presented to her the idea of tetanus, she said, "Hmmm...I'm trying to think of what I know about tetanus...I had a horse that had that once." .....REALLY???

So I left there still feeling like crap. I seriously considered protesting paying.

Friday night: I went to Megan's rehearsal dinner. Lots of talking, laughing, and eating--lots of jaw usage, basically. By the end of the night, my jaw felt even worse. But Rachel and Carol were spending the night with me, and we were having fun, so I wasn't thinking about it too much.

Late Friday night: My mom called me to ask how my jaw was doing. When I told her it was worse, she told me I needed to get in to another doctor that can tell me more about it and can be more helpful. I told her I'd try to get in to see someone on Monday or Tuesday.

Then I called Josh's mom. When I talked to her, she told me that my worrying about it was probably what was making the pain worse, and to just relax and not use it as much as possible. She told me she was pretty positive it wasn't tetanus, and to not worry so much about it. I got off the phone with her feeling more calm and more like I was going to be alright.

Later Friday night: My mom calls back. "Leslie, I'm sorry but I was looking up stuff online about it (sound familiar?), and this is really serious. I think you need to go to the hospital either tonight or tomorrow. Do you want to go somewhere there in Allen, or come back home for a few days?" Well, you know I scare myself enough, I don't need other people suggesting to me that I might be dying. So then I freaked out again, and at the same time I was mad at my mom for being that way (exactly like me).

SO. My plan was to go in Saturday after the wedding to the hospital and have them check it out, but Carol and Rachel, being the ridiculously good friends that they are, offered to go with me Friday night to the hospital at midnight.

Around 2am, the doctor finally came in. He asked what the problem was, I told him, and he said, "Mmhmm. Sooo, you looked it up online?" We all laughed. (At this point, Josh had come up there too. My friends and boyfriend are way too good to me/for me. Knowing that this whole thing was ridiculous but still coming up there to keep me company in the middle of the night.)

He told me everything he knew about tetanus, which was a lot, and then told me there's not really a test for tetanus, but he was almost positive I didn't have it, because the symptoms would be a lot more severe. I got the shot though, and he gave me some antibiotics to treat it as though it was tetanus even though it probably wasn't.

So I asked him what was causing the pain in my jaw, and he said "Well, the pain in your jaw is basically what we call...jaw pain." That was my favorite line from the night.

He said I might need to see a dentist about it, but as far as he could tell, there wasn't anything in particular causing the tension.

We got home at 4am, and had to get up at 8 to get to the church for Megan's wedding.

So that's pretty much my story. Ridiculous, I know. My jaw is still hurting, (less than before though), but I'm taking Advil a lot and it seems to help some. I made an appointment at the dentist, but they can't see me until August 2.

Hopefully the pain goes away soon, and it's not anything related to impacted wisdom teeth or the need for a root canal. I better go google that....







Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Classy teacher clothes, here I come...

I got the job at Banana Republic! Yay. Now, I just hope I'm good at it. Surely I will be. Right?? I mean, I just have to sell clothes. It's not like I could put anyone's life or well-being in danger. So that's good, I guess.

My summer class started yesterday. It's going to be on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5-9pm. Unfortunately, I sit by one of the older people that hasn't taken classes in a long time and freaks out about everything. Everything. And then there are the people that think they already know everything and think they are our teacher. And then there are people that ask questions that make me wonder why they think they are competent to teach anybody. And then there are the nice, smart people that will be great teachers. Thankfully, there are at least a few of those!

I ran with my new friend Ashlee (she's in our life group at church) today. I haven't run in a long time, and I went 2 miles without stopping! Good for me. Of course, I need to say a few words of thanks to Beyonce and Chris Brown for getting me through it. I couldn't have done it without them. Seriously, I couldn't.

I am LOVING our life group on Thursday nights. It's all couples in their 20s...most of them are married. They are so fun. In the past, I've definitely had times where I dread going to church or small groups because they are socially uncomfortable. But I'm so excited to go to church on Sundays now, and happy to hang out with people my age. And the girls make me feel like I can actually talk to them about what's going on in my life, which I'm thankful for. I'm so happy to have made friends from our church. Thanks, God!






Sunday, June 6, 2010

So I applied at Banana Republic and had an interview. I think it actually went pretty well...which is saying a lot, because usually I leave interviews replaying every awkward moment in my head for days. Everything about this interview was pretty good, minus the part where I had to shake the manager's hand and my hands were sweaty. I try to embrace my sweatiness and act like it's just one of those cute little quirks that people have...but who are we kidding, IT'S DISGUSTING!!!!! I have GOT to seriously look into getting surgery to correct it!

I'm supposed to have already heard back from them about if I got the job or not, but no word yet.

I spent the weekend in Bedford with the one and only Rachel Foster. I find her extremely hilarious. I haven't laughed so hard in quite a while.

I'm starting summer school this Wednesday...not looking forward to having 4 hour classes two nights a week. I figured out that because Josh works so much and I'm starting classes, I'm going to see him one night a week. This week, the last time I saw him was Friday, and I won't see him at all til Thursday. Lame....

Which brings me to my next point. In my loneliness, I have been eating ungodly amounts of calories and only really exercising 1-2 days per week. I feel like I'm "letting myself go", if you will. And that is gross/not okay! I'm 23 years old! GET YOURSELF TOGETHER, LESLIE.

So, I think I'm going to make a small goal to go walking 4 or 5 days a week. I figure if I start there, I can't fail, and then I will already be outside, with my running shoes on, and there will at least be a chance that running will happen. When I'm sitting inside drinking a Dr. Pepper from Sonic and watching tv...I don't have a chance!!