I'm baaaack...

Hey friends. I haven't been too inspired to blog lately...but here goes nothing!

My classes are pretty easy. The last couple weeks have been busy with schoolwork, but not hard. I had to do a "Graduate Research Project" for one of my classes. The words Graduate, Research, and Project sound scary, but it only had to be like 3 pages. It was assigned back in September, but I thrive under pressure (not really) so I did it all on the afternoon it was due!

Subbing is going alright. I was going to sub today in a PPCD class (Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities) and I was really excited, because I think that I MIGHT want to teach PPCD when I am ready to be a real teacher. But I got sick yesterday, and it's worse today, so I had to cancel early this morning.

I subbed for ANOTHER first grade class last week, which was stupid of me. My thoughts when I accepted the job were "It can't be as bad as last time", "I need the money", and "Last time taught me what to do differently in a first grade class"...What a little optimist I was. It was horrible. Nothing I did or said seemed to work. They were all over the place. There was a kid in there all day who isn't getting any special ed services but has serious emotional and behavioral problems, he cried about everything he had to do that day. As a sub, it's really hard to know how to handle situations like that when you've known the kids for all of 10 minutes.

One funny thing about that day was when I introduced myself to the class as Ms. Bryant...well, there's also a black teacher at their school named Ms. Bryant. I heard one of the kids ask his friend, completely perplexed, "Wait, so....if she's white....how does THAT work!?!" I wanted to say "Oh my God, you can't just ask people why they're white!"..But I withheld. They probably weren't even born when Mean Girls came out.

In other news, I stupidly went and watched Paranormal Activity the other night. It was very entertaining, I have to say. Had me on the edge of my seat. Sleeping that night was a bit of a problem though. I finally fell asleep at 3am...I wouldn't exactly recommend the movie, considering it is about demonic activity. Don't worry though, it's all scripted and nothing is real! It's not real, Leslie! They're actors! It's a script! You're gonna be ok! ............

What else...I've been trying to go to the gym a lot lately. It's only $12 a month for a membership! I still can't get over that. And it's about 4 times bigger than the SS Athletic Club (crappiest gym ever...60 yr old aerobics instructor Julie was the only thing that redeemed it). Anyways, the women that teach that class take all their cues from Jillian Michaels. They are all like 30-50 year old hott moms, and they make me want to die with their high levels of fitness and extremely toned arms.

That's all for now. Write back soon. Lylas! Stay sweet and cool.

First off, I need to vent about some things. This seems to be a good place to do that. Some people's facebook statuses make me want to set myself on fire. And yet, I still read them all just so I have an excuse to be annoyed, which I know is lame, but whatever! I'm especially tired of the facebook statuses that are all the same, like "The Office wedding tonight!" or "Relaxin' and watching my 'Boys...Tony Romo better not let me down again..." Also I hate it when facebook statuses say things like "I'm so hungry. What should I eat for lunch?" 20 minutes later: "Looks like it's gonna be Chickfila!" 20 minutes later: "I'm stuffed!"

I had a flat tire on my way to work this morning. But a very nice middle-aged man helped me. He just aired it up, so I don't think it had a hole or anything in it. It seems to be fine now...don't you worry your pretty little head over it!

I subbed for a first grade class yesterday. It was quite possibly the worst day ever. The other teachers were really nice and told me that their regular teacher is disorganized and doesn't have much control of them, so my chances of having a good day with them weren't too good in the first place. They really were just BAD kids. Sorry to say it. But I gotta be real. I warned them, I separated them, I left their name for the teacher, I took away some recesses, I had the teacher next door come in and talk to them....literally, nothing I did or said made even a 1% difference in their behavior. They came up to me and tattle-taled on each other every other second, they pushed each other, they cussed at each other, they did obscene gestures at each other, they threw pencils at each other, they mocked me when I spoke, they didn't listen to the morning announcements, they didn't listen to instructions for assignments, most of them didn't DO their assignments...the teacher left cut-and-paste spelling assignments which was a mess, they tried to sneak scissors and tape from the teacher's desk...did I mention that every time ANY of this happened, they would come up to me and tell on each other? It was a nightmare. Did I cry during my break? Yes. Did I cry after school? Yes. Should I have cried? No. They are first graders. But I did...I was just so freaking tired. Oh, and my favorite part was "Ms. Bryant, are you pregnant? Are you gonna have a baby?" "No." "Then why is your stomach so big?"

I know I shouldn't come to the conclusion that all first graders suck and I'll never teach first grade, but that's baaaasically exactly the conclusion that I've come to.

It ended up a good day though, because when I told Josh about my day, he came over with a dozen roses (he's going to kill me for telling you he did that), and when his parents found out, they took us out to dinner, which was so nice. They're basically my new bffs.

Well everyone, it's official. I'm subbing now. I've worked every day this week and it's so tiring...you have to constantly be on top of things or you will be owned by 16 third graders at once. I've done 3rd grade a few times, 6th grade, and today I was in a resource class for K-2. I just have to say, I have so much respect for teachers. It takes a lot of TRUE GRIT (Awards assembly, 2005). I just hope I have what it takes to be a good teacher. I'm still figuring that out.

Last Thursday was my first day to sub. The class was sooo good. Then I was at that school again yesterday and they saw me walking down the hall and said "Ms. Bryant! Ms. Bryant!" and lined up to give me hugs. I just love how loving kids are. It's the best ever.

My other favorite moment was today when I was in a special ed classroom. This adorable black boy with big blurry glasses, Miles, was supposed to go with a teacher to a different classroom. He was throwing a fit, not wanting to go with her, so he ran to me and hugged my legs and said in the most pathetic voice ever, "Ms. Bryant, I luh you!!" I know he wasn't exactly behaving, but I had to hide my laugh...and at another point he ran around the room for about 10 minutes laughing hysterically and holding about 12 toothbrushes in his hands. It was really frustrating, but again, it was hilarious and just plain ridiculous.

Today, there was also a second grader named Simon. When any student walked into the room, he brought them over to me and said "I don't think you've met Ms. Bryant yet. Shake her hand and tell her it's nice to meet her." I know it doesn't sound that exciting as I type it, but it was really cute.

Of course, there are other times where I just want to leave and go home in the middle of the day. Subbing is definitely sucky at times. But overall, I'm liking it a lot. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a 4 hour nap to recover from the day.

Beware of blood-borne pathogens...

A beautiful thing happened this morning. For the first time in months, I actually had something to wake up and go to in the morning! It was the orientation for substitute teachers in Allen. It wasn't anything to be excited about--sexual harassment videos, payroll information, etc...but I could barely sleep last night! It felt like the anticipation of the first day of school (which I've always enjoyed, probably too much). By the way, the first thing we watched when we got there was a video about blood-borne pathogens, which showed a bunch of kids with ungodly wounds all over their faces or all down their arms...and then the video warned us about being in contact with their blood and how we could get HIV from it. Don't worry, I have no plans to touch any children's lesions anytime soon.

Anyway, I'll start subbing hopefully next week, just for elementary schools. I don't have the strength to substitute for middle or high school. The high schoolers would probably bully me and stuff me in a locker. Yes, I am that weak.

In other news, official training for the half marathon has begun. We are 2 days in. Josh and I ran 3 miles on Tuesday and it just about killed me. Then we ran intervals last night where you are supposed to run fast for a lap around the track, then rest, then another lap, etc...so I ran "fast" for about 20 feet and I was TOTALLY winded. Like, couldn't catch my breath. So my fast lap ended up not being too terribly fast. It's good that these intervals are a part of training, though, because I think they'll really push me to improve my speed, which I desperately need to do. To give you an idea of just how slow I run, I was watching the new season of Biggest Loser the other day, and the very first challenge for these 300-475 pound people was to run one mile. The winner's time was the same as my time when I run a mile! Recap: 350 pound man. First episode. 1 mile. Same as my time. Lovely.

In related news, I am drinking Dr. Peppers again. I had not had a sip of any soda for a little over 3 months. But within the last couple weeks, I decided I was ready to inch back into drinking sodas every now and then. I had a can of Coca-Cola, and decided, Ya know what!? That's not even worth it! I think I've broken my addiction to sodas, they're not even that good!................but then............I had a Dr. Pepper. And I swear, there is something illegal in Dr. Peppers...they are, I'd venture to say, life-changing? Anyway, my attempt to "inch back into drinking sodas" hasn't so much worked out. I might need to chill out on the Dr. Peppers again. But not yet. I KNOW Kacy and Kristy feel me on this one.

P.S. I haven't watched any afternoon tv last week or this week! And I don't have the feeling that I'm missing out on anything, which I think is a huge step for me.

The Renewed Mind is the Key...

First of all, I want to thank you all for your support and encouragement through these difficult times of lethargy and indolence in my life.

I think Saturday was my last blog. Well, I want you to know that Sunday, I had a real turnaround. I became disgusted at the way I was wasting my life! I also became disgusted with my 5 pound weight gain(excessive tv + lots of oreos + no running for a week + eating corny dogs for lunch = weight gain for Leslie, duh) But anyway, I want to just tell you a little bit about my new plan for living.

1.I'm going to start waking up early.

2. I'm going to run in the mornings(the half marathon is still on, and Josh is definitely going to do it now!)

3. I'm not going to watch afternoon television. At all.

4. I'm going to take away distractions while I study, so I can actually get stuff done in a shorter amount of time. (Brilliant, isn't it?)

5. I'm considering reading for fun--but only really really good books. If you have recommendations, do share. Just don't say Harry Potter or Twilight--I won't do it!

6. Stop eating total crap.

So, Josh and I have been going to Watermark in Dallas for church for the last few weeks. We really like it a lot, and we're wanting to get involved there. There's a huge group of young adults/singles which is neat. Most churches do not have this (case in point: First Baptist in Sulphur Springs) I want to get involved in a small group for girls my age (I think). Watermark does a whole lot with serving the community, so I would like to be a part of that too.

Speaking of Watermark, got a story for ya, Ags: So Josh and I have gone for the last 3 weeks and we pretty much just go to the service and leave right after, and we don't know anyone there yet. But THIS week, we were drinking coffee and chit-chatting in the foyer before church, and who do we see but Bret Peterson and Sheryl (Burk? Burke? Burks? Burkes?)!!!! Then after the service, we saw Ryan Clinkscales and Tim Ennis! I didn't know they all went there. I was very excited. Gosh, it sure is good to be around fellow Ags. The Aggie Spirit was at work in our lives that Sunday morning, that's for sure!

The sermon on Sunday was the most challenging sermon I've heard in a long time. He talked about how we say one thing about how much we love Jesus and then live completely opposite. In our day to day lives, are we really pursuing wisdom and living by Scripture, or are we just letting the world and the culture we live in determine who we are and how we live. I'm just gonna put a link to a one minute video on here, just in case you wanna watch it. I thought it was really good.

http://www.worshiphousemedia.com/mini-movies/14674/Plastic-Jesus

While I'm at it, I have to put this link up too. It will change your life in a totally different way. Thanks to Justin and Kacy for bringing this into my life. I'm working on my steps and we hope to perform it in church soon--heck, we might even go on tour? We'll see!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VPcPCwK_G0

A journey you won't soon forget...

I want to thank Mr. Hans for being so kind as to make a guest appearance on my blog! I'm always looking for ways to be innovative and....well, revolutionary, really. I think the use of guest-blogging pretty much achieved that.

So, it's time to get caught back up on MY awesome life. I want to take you on a tour through a day in my life. Also, keep in mind that not only is this one day, this is basically every day for the last month. Please note that I am not proud of this lifestyle, and you should not be jealous because A) I have no friends and B) I have no money (making social outings and roadtrips an impossibility.)

-10am: Wake up. (I go to bed around 11 every night, so I'm used to getting about 10-12 hours of sleep.)
-Eat a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch
-Watch TV(my standards for television aren't very high...we're talkin The View, Bridezillas, The Price is Right, The Tyra Banks show, Family Feud, Househusbands of Hollywood, E: The True Hollywood Story)
-Eat lunch(we're talkin corny dogs, turkey sandwiches, Totino's pizzas)
-Attempt to study
-Browse facebook
-More tv (we're talkin Who Wants to be a Millionaire, Oprah, etc)
-Eat approximately 3 oreos

Then my day improves 500% because that's around when Josh gets home and hangs out with me. This is about the point where I start feeling like a normal, functioning, socially participating human being again.

I thought when I started school, I was going to be crazy busy all the time. But I was terribly, terribly mistaken. My classes have turned out to be pretty undemanding, and I only have class 2 nights a week. I am going to need substitute teaching to start STAT. I CAN'T KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS!

Inside a Beautiful Mind...

Hellllllllo World!!!!

Josh Hans here guest-blogging for Leslie.

Finally, I get an outlet to express my inner thoughts and feelings. I have so much I want to go over today, I'm not sure where to start. I think I'll start with secret hand shakes.

What is it about secret hand shakes that make them soooo cool? I swear, I watch 1st graders do a secret hand shake and I try to act cool and like I don't care, but secretly I'm like "OMG I WANT IN ON THAT $#%@". I don't what it is, maybe I just want to feel like i'm on the "in" or something, but I submit to you that there are only a handful of things in the world more beautiful than a well-choreographed secret hand shake.

Which brings me to my next point. Why hasn't Bret Peterson asked me to be his best man yet? I mean, we all know its going to happen eventually. I have his bachelor party 90% planned (the Tilt, Collin County dog park, skating rink, to name a few of our activities). I am just waiting around for the official call.

Finally, lets talk about some things that I don't like. I have a reputation for hating Olive Garden commercials, and that still rings true today. Would anyone actually want to eat dinner with people like this?

Dad: "Let's continue our tradition of passing our plates to the left"

Girl: "Since when has that been a tradition?"

Dad: "Since YOU ordered THAT!"

(everyone cracks up)

Secondly, I hate speeding tickets. I got one recently for going 61 in a 45. Well local municipality, I was actually entering the highway, so of course I am going to be going over 45. Leslie and I were on our way to the Village Church on a Sunday morning and this fat cop pulls me over. He's a total tool.

Finally, I really hate Carson Daly. Well, not necessarily him as a person, more his show. I'm not even going to waste feelings towards Carson Daly, he's not worth it. But his show is so unfunny it literally makes me sick to my stomach. And the worst part is how funny Carson Daly seems to think it is. So here is some homework for anyone who reads this. Watch 10 minutes of Carson Daly. If you don't get angry and turn it off in that time, then you have no soul. In my opinion, at least.

Well I want to thank Leslie for this opportunity. We've shared some good times today and I appreciate you if you are still reading here. Stick a fork in me, cause I'm done. Stay sweet.

Aaaand, I'm back in school. And I'm scared. I'm taking three classes this semester, and one of them is an online course. I just looked at all the course assignments and I am FREAKING OUT! I honestly still feel like I am 14 years old--and 14 year olds should not be in graduate level courses.

I always do this, though, I always think that there's no way I could ever do something, and I worry about it and cry about it and panic about it, and then after I'm all done with that, I actually do the assignment and it's not even that big of a deal. So my goal for this year is to stop all the panicking and just take care of business. I think that if I do that, I will be a much more pleasant person.

I'm also currently scared that a) elementary school children will break me down and make me cry as I attempt to substitute teach and b) what if I find out that I totally don't have what it takes to be a special education teacher?

Alright, so, I'm not going to panic over these things anymore!! My dad wrote to me in an email this morning "Git r done"...and I almost threw up. I have told him time and time again to not say that anymore! So I will not be "gitting r done", but I WILL be more confident in what I am capable of and I will trust God and not worry so much.

John 15:5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me, and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing."

Does it annoy anyone else when people say to you "We should hang out!" when you haven't talked to them in years and you are clearly incompatible as friends??

Before I continue, let me say that this applies to nobody that's reading this. If you're reading this, you are one of my bffs and I think we should hang out as much as you'll let me.

It's happened dozens--HUNDREDS--of times throughout my college career. And now, in my life as a "post-grad", if you will, it's still happening. Just because we live in the same general area does not mean we NEED to be friends. If we went to high school together and I haven't talked to you since Graduation Celebration in 2005, there is probably a reason. We don't need to pretend like we are besties. We certainly don't need to hang out. I can promise you that we will both leave our reunion feeling awkward, regretful, and remembering exactly why we haven't kept in contact over the years. And then we will just go back to calling it what it is and not talking for years.

It might be even more uncomfortable when you run into someone and they end it with "We should hang out!" when there is a mutual understanding that neither of you is going to make an effort to call the other one. Ever.

Maybe this was a little harsh, and maybe I sound like a biotch. But I'm just being real!

In other news, I'm up to a whopping 2 miles with my running. Update from my last entry: I have one friend that has given me a 20% commitment to running the half marathon with me. (That person will remain nameless for his/her own protection.) Hey, I'll take what I can get!

I don't know what to title my blogs...

I am all moved in to my house in Allen now. I thought I would be starting work right away when I moved, but I can't start substitute teaching until the beginning of October! And of course, if you know me, you know I have serious problems with saving money. So for now, I am eating tuna sandwiches and frozen dinners that cost 2 dollars. I am hoping this will finally teach me that I have got to be more wise with money.

I'm in College Station right now, visiting my homegurlz Rachel and Kristy. The transition from college has been pretty rough for me...I still let myself pout about how much I miss it. I remember coming to A&M as a freshman, and crying after New Student Conference, and crying after Fish Camp, and crying our entire first semester in our dorm room. (Jeez...maybe we were suffering from seasonal depression and just didn't know it?) But through my time at A&M, I have been blessed with such awesome friends, roommates, and boyfriend (singular). And for that, I can really do nothing but thank God and enjoy continuing those relationships now, even though we're all in different places.

In other news, I will be training for another half marathon this year. I plan on doing the White Rock half marathon in Dallas December 13. I start training next week! I've been running all summer, but no more than 3 miles at a time. Josh isn't sure if he wants to do it again, which kinda stinks because it was so fun to train together last year. But anyway, my point is, it's not too late for YOU to start training and run it with me in December! And if you're in the Dallas area, we could even run together sometimes!

Summa

Hi.

Don't worry, I'm blogging now. (I know you were starting to worry.) I'm a little hesitant to do this, because let's be honest, it is basically Xanga, and I'm still trying to forget how ridiculous my Xanga posts were, complete with emo song lyrics, quotes from Blue Like Jazz, the whole bit. Maybe...just maybe...this is my chance to redeem myself.

I actually don't expect anyone to read this. I feel like I shouldn't be allowed to have a blog because my life is incredibly bland. But I'm doing it anyway, and you can't stop me!!

For now, I just want to share with you what my summer has been like. I have been in the booming metropolis of Sulphur Springs, Texas all summer. I am here babysitting my two nieces and my nephew, ages 7, 2, and 8 months. I spend about 50 hours a week babysitting, and I earn a SOLID $3.25 per hour. I totally look like a single mother of three when I go out in public with the kids. This makes me feel awkward. I saw a former classmate of the SSHS Class of 2005 a few weeks ago, whom I haven't seen since the year 2005, and said "Hey! THESE AREN'T MY KIDS, I PROMISE!" I don't think he believed me.

After I get home from babysitting, I sit at home and watch tv. I don't want to have to share that with you, because it's not something to be proud of! But hey, if you know me, you know I'm about keepin' it real and raw. So yes. I have been an avid viewer of The Bachelorette, So You Think You Can Dance, Family Feud, Wipeout, Who Wants to be a Millionaire, Friends re-runs, and unfortunately, Reba.

Aaaaand I'm going to end this right now, because I have ALREADY resorted to talking about tv. When I talk to Josh (that's my boyfriend, he's legit) on the phone, and he asks me about my day, I share stories about things I saw on tv that day, and he has to stop me. I can't wait to move to Allen (which I'll do NEXT WEEK!) where I'll have friends and at least somewhat of a social life. I look forward to re-entering society again!