Josh Hans here guest-blogging for Leslie.
Finally, I get an outlet to express my inner thoughts and feelings. I have so much I want to go over today, I'm not sure where to start. I think I'll start with secret hand shakes.
What is it about secret hand shakes that make them soooo cool? I swear, I watch 1st graders do a secret hand shake and I try to act cool and like I don't care, but secretly I'm like "OMG I WANT IN ON THAT $#%@". I don't what it is, maybe I just want to feel like i'm on the "in" or something, but I submit to you that there are only a handful of things in the world more beautiful than a well-choreographed secret hand shake.
Which brings me to my next point. Why hasn't Bret Peterson asked me to be his best man yet? I mean, we all know its going to happen eventually. I have his bachelor party 90% planned (the Tilt, Collin County dog park, skating rink, to name a few of our activities). I am just waiting around for the official call.
Finally, lets talk about some things that I don't like. I have a reputation for hating Olive Garden commercials, and that still rings true today. Would anyone actually want to eat dinner with people like this?
Dad: "Let's continue our tradition of passing our plates to the left"
Girl: "Since when has that been a tradition?"
Dad: "Since YOU ordered THAT!"
(everyone cracks up)
Secondly, I hate speeding tickets. I got one recently for going 61 in a 45. Well local municipality, I was actually entering the highway, so of course I am going to be going over 45. Leslie and I were on our way to the Village Church on a Sunday morning and this fat cop pulls me over. He's a total tool.
Finally, I really hate Carson Daly. Well, not necessarily him as a person, more his show. I'm not even going to waste feelings towards Carson Daly, he's not worth it. But his show is so unfunny it literally makes me sick to my stomach. And the worst part is how funny Carson Daly seems to think it is. So here is some homework for anyone who reads this. Watch 10 minutes of Carson Daly. If you don't get angry and turn it off in that time, then you have no soul. In my opinion, at least.
Well I want to thank Leslie for this opportunity. We've shared some good times today and I appreciate you if you are still reading here. Stick a fork in me, cause I'm done. Stay sweet.
1) Anytime you'd like to make a guest appearance on my blog, let me know.
ReplyDelete2) One time Justin inadvertently reenacted an Olive Garden commercial with the waitress. The one where they say, "We are eating good tonight!" and the waitress says, "Celebrating something?" And he says, "Just Monday!" or something cheesy like that.
3) Carson Daly: tool or douche?
Remember that time when Leslie actually DID stick a fork in you?! Right there in the roof of the mouth...that birthday party was the best, just because of that moment. :)
ReplyDeleteHaha I love the guest appearance!
ReplyDeleteAnd I also have been wondering why Bret hasn't asked you yet...I'm sure he's just shy.
Wow, this is a great article. Very intuitive and challenging. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteI just read your blog out loud to Alicia as we're sitting here lesson planning. She doesn't know you and she thinks you're hilarious.
ReplyDelete[Leslie - sorry to build up Josh's ego. It's just that it's true...]