Aaaand, I'm back in school. And I'm scared. I'm taking three classes this semester, and one of them is an online course. I just looked at all the course assignments and I am FREAKING OUT! I honestly still feel like I am 14 years old--and 14 year olds should not be in graduate level courses.

I always do this, though, I always think that there's no way I could ever do something, and I worry about it and cry about it and panic about it, and then after I'm all done with that, I actually do the assignment and it's not even that big of a deal. So my goal for this year is to stop all the panicking and just take care of business. I think that if I do that, I will be a much more pleasant person.

I'm also currently scared that a) elementary school children will break me down and make me cry as I attempt to substitute teach and b) what if I find out that I totally don't have what it takes to be a special education teacher?

Alright, so, I'm not going to panic over these things anymore!! My dad wrote to me in an email this morning "Git r done"...and I almost threw up. I have told him time and time again to not say that anymore! So I will not be "gitting r done", but I WILL be more confident in what I am capable of and I will trust God and not worry so much.

John 15:5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me, and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing."

Does it annoy anyone else when people say to you "We should hang out!" when you haven't talked to them in years and you are clearly incompatible as friends??

Before I continue, let me say that this applies to nobody that's reading this. If you're reading this, you are one of my bffs and I think we should hang out as much as you'll let me.

It's happened dozens--HUNDREDS--of times throughout my college career. And now, in my life as a "post-grad", if you will, it's still happening. Just because we live in the same general area does not mean we NEED to be friends. If we went to high school together and I haven't talked to you since Graduation Celebration in 2005, there is probably a reason. We don't need to pretend like we are besties. We certainly don't need to hang out. I can promise you that we will both leave our reunion feeling awkward, regretful, and remembering exactly why we haven't kept in contact over the years. And then we will just go back to calling it what it is and not talking for years.

It might be even more uncomfortable when you run into someone and they end it with "We should hang out!" when there is a mutual understanding that neither of you is going to make an effort to call the other one. Ever.

Maybe this was a little harsh, and maybe I sound like a biotch. But I'm just being real!

In other news, I'm up to a whopping 2 miles with my running. Update from my last entry: I have one friend that has given me a 20% commitment to running the half marathon with me. (That person will remain nameless for his/her own protection.) Hey, I'll take what I can get!

I don't know what to title my blogs...

I am all moved in to my house in Allen now. I thought I would be starting work right away when I moved, but I can't start substitute teaching until the beginning of October! And of course, if you know me, you know I have serious problems with saving money. So for now, I am eating tuna sandwiches and frozen dinners that cost 2 dollars. I am hoping this will finally teach me that I have got to be more wise with money.

I'm in College Station right now, visiting my homegurlz Rachel and Kristy. The transition from college has been pretty rough for me...I still let myself pout about how much I miss it. I remember coming to A&M as a freshman, and crying after New Student Conference, and crying after Fish Camp, and crying our entire first semester in our dorm room. (Jeez...maybe we were suffering from seasonal depression and just didn't know it?) But through my time at A&M, I have been blessed with such awesome friends, roommates, and boyfriend (singular). And for that, I can really do nothing but thank God and enjoy continuing those relationships now, even though we're all in different places.

In other news, I will be training for another half marathon this year. I plan on doing the White Rock half marathon in Dallas December 13. I start training next week! I've been running all summer, but no more than 3 miles at a time. Josh isn't sure if he wants to do it again, which kinda stinks because it was so fun to train together last year. But anyway, my point is, it's not too late for YOU to start training and run it with me in December! And if you're in the Dallas area, we could even run together sometimes!

Summa

Hi.

Don't worry, I'm blogging now. (I know you were starting to worry.) I'm a little hesitant to do this, because let's be honest, it is basically Xanga, and I'm still trying to forget how ridiculous my Xanga posts were, complete with emo song lyrics, quotes from Blue Like Jazz, the whole bit. Maybe...just maybe...this is my chance to redeem myself.

I actually don't expect anyone to read this. I feel like I shouldn't be allowed to have a blog because my life is incredibly bland. But I'm doing it anyway, and you can't stop me!!

For now, I just want to share with you what my summer has been like. I have been in the booming metropolis of Sulphur Springs, Texas all summer. I am here babysitting my two nieces and my nephew, ages 7, 2, and 8 months. I spend about 50 hours a week babysitting, and I earn a SOLID $3.25 per hour. I totally look like a single mother of three when I go out in public with the kids. This makes me feel awkward. I saw a former classmate of the SSHS Class of 2005 a few weeks ago, whom I haven't seen since the year 2005, and said "Hey! THESE AREN'T MY KIDS, I PROMISE!" I don't think he believed me.

After I get home from babysitting, I sit at home and watch tv. I don't want to have to share that with you, because it's not something to be proud of! But hey, if you know me, you know I'm about keepin' it real and raw. So yes. I have been an avid viewer of The Bachelorette, So You Think You Can Dance, Family Feud, Wipeout, Who Wants to be a Millionaire, Friends re-runs, and unfortunately, Reba.

Aaaaand I'm going to end this right now, because I have ALREADY resorted to talking about tv. When I talk to Josh (that's my boyfriend, he's legit) on the phone, and he asks me about my day, I share stories about things I saw on tv that day, and he has to stop me. I can't wait to move to Allen (which I'll do NEXT WEEK!) where I'll have friends and at least somewhat of a social life. I look forward to re-entering society again!