"Do you worry you have AIDS even though there is a low risk of you getting it?" ....Why, yes. How did you know?
"When you're in pain, do you think you have tumors or cancer?" ...All the time.
"When there is a strange new virus making the news, are you preoccupied with getting it?" ...Yes. Anthrax, smallpox, SARS, you name it. (2001-2002 was rough)
This paranoia resulted in a very interesting weekend for me.
Last Wednesday: My jaw started hurting. It was very tense, and felt like I couldn't relax it no matter what I did. The tension went up into my ears and just above my ears. It continued for several days into the weekend. I was concerned, but wouldn't allow myself to google it. As we all know by now, that never goes well.
Thursday night: I googled it. I started crying. The diagnosis? Tetanus. I stepped on a pen a couple weeks ago that got lodged in my foot and bled a lot. No tetanus shot-->Open wound-->Jaw pain-->Tetanus-->Death. This was my thought process. I called Carol Hogan crying, and with her assurance, I went to bed feeling a lot better about the situation.
Friday: I told my mom about the pain in my jaw, and my previous suspicions of it being tetanus. I wasn't planning on going to the doctor because at this point, I figured I could wait it out and see if the pain went away. Plus, I had a lot to do this weekend, including Megan Ehrhardt's wedding rehearsal and wedding, so I didn't have time. My mom told me I should make time to go in to the doctor that day before it had a chance to get any worse.
::Intermission:: Thanks for reading this. I feel like it's getting long. Feel free to take a bathroom break, grab a cold drink, or stretch. I'm not close to being done.
Friday afternoon: I went to a Care Now clinic, which I hoped would be the fastest option. 2 hours later, I left Care Now $45 poorer and wishing I could get those 2 hours of my life back. (Especially since I could be dying later that day!!!!!!!!) The doctor there told me it wasn't an ear infection, my throat looked good, it didn't seem like TMJ, etc. When I presented to her the idea of tetanus, she said, "Hmmm...I'm trying to think of what I know about tetanus...I had a horse that had that once." .....REALLY???
So I left there still feeling like crap. I seriously considered protesting paying.
Friday night: I went to Megan's rehearsal dinner. Lots of talking, laughing, and eating--lots of jaw usage, basically. By the end of the night, my jaw felt even worse. But Rachel and Carol were spending the night with me, and we were having fun, so I wasn't thinking about it too much.
Late Friday night: My mom called me to ask how my jaw was doing. When I told her it was worse, she told me I needed to get in to another doctor that can tell me more about it and can be more helpful. I told her I'd try to get in to see someone on Monday or Tuesday.
Then I called Josh's mom. When I talked to her, she told me that my worrying about it was probably what was making the pain worse, and to just relax and not use it as much as possible. She told me she was pretty positive it wasn't tetanus, and to not worry so much about it. I got off the phone with her feeling more calm and more like I was going to be alright.
Later Friday night: My mom calls back. "Leslie, I'm sorry but I was looking up stuff online about it (sound familiar?), and this is really serious. I think you need to go to the hospital either tonight or tomorrow. Do you want to go somewhere there in Allen, or come back home for a few days?" Well, you know I scare myself enough, I don't need other people suggesting to me that I might be dying. So then I freaked out again, and at the same time I was mad at my mom for being that way (exactly like me).
SO. My plan was to go in Saturday after the wedding to the hospital and have them check it out, but Carol and Rachel, being the ridiculously good friends that they are, offered to go with me Friday night to the hospital at midnight.
Around 2am, the doctor finally came in. He asked what the problem was, I told him, and he said, "Mmhmm. Sooo, you looked it up online?" We all laughed. (At this point, Josh had come up there too. My friends and boyfriend are way too good to me/for me. Knowing that this whole thing was ridiculous but still coming up there to keep me company in the middle of the night.)
He told me everything he knew about tetanus, which was a lot, and then told me there's not really a test for tetanus, but he was almost positive I didn't have it, because the symptoms would be a lot more severe. I got the shot though, and he gave me some antibiotics to treat it as though it was tetanus even though it probably wasn't.
So I asked him what was causing the pain in my jaw, and he said "Well, the pain in your jaw is basically what we call...jaw pain." That was my favorite line from the night.
He said I might need to see a dentist about it, but as far as he could tell, there wasn't anything in particular causing the tension.
We got home at 4am, and had to get up at 8 to get to the church for Megan's wedding.
So that's pretty much my story. Ridiculous, I know. My jaw is still hurting, (less than before though), but I'm taking Advil a lot and it seems to help some. I made an appointment at the dentist, but they can't see me until August 2.
Hopefully the pain goes away soon, and it's not anything related to impacted wisdom teeth or the need for a root canal. I better go google that....
